Monday, October 15, 2007


short entry for today. just came back, went out with some friends had some fun.
band today was ok, enough to lose a kilogram or two.
really rusty, really need to get some practice done.
just needa get back on track.
hmm, was thinking of many things today while walking around.
walked a little, meet up with a friend, went out for dinner blah blah.
just walk a bit from here to there. had quite some time to think of things.
there was this particular one thought that was stucked on my mind through the day.
it has always been there, never seem to get off since it came.
its fascinating. its a part of me that's foreign to me. and i never thought it possible.
anyway, had a heavy dinner, really heavy one. gonna exercise tomorrow morning.
run the dog i guess. chin up. rest a while, wash up, eat something. practice.
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i am quite a lucky guy actually. i mean. everything's there.
everything that i would need to make life good for me, its there.
good friends, well to do family, whole family.
its just myself that i need, to make take the next stuff to make it perfect.
just needa patch a few things up properly, correct some things.
i realise i have been doing yet another thing. this game thing.
not exactly a game anymore. anyway, i have been divided into 2.
desire and rational. i managed to hook the girl and then, i did something i never did.
i threw it away. i just decided it wasn't right to play her feelings.
no not sex or what, but yeah. just getting into a relationship,
if you are not serious about it, you are gonna hurt the other party.
so i pulled out, made an escape for myself.
thank goodness i managed to think of one.
cant even begin to think of what it would have been like.
to be with someone i will never be true to. to live a life of lies.
like grandma always scolded me when i was young.
dont lie, once you start, you have to keep lying to cover the previous lie,
and you would just sink deeper and deeper. always be honest.
honesty, is the best policy.
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thats one victory over myself for myself.
eyes have more or less ceased its auto roam function nowadays though it still does.
hahaha, from time to time. i think that cant be helped.
shall explore, reflect, think about what can i change, or what can i make right.
live an upright life, thats the best.
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the priest said last sunday, which i find very true.
christians dare to evangelise, they dare to say that they believe in God.
that's why their faith can be challenged yet not crumble.
well, i find it really true, its pretty amazing sometimes.
just attend their mass, seeing them worship. its wow compared to us catholics.

her terrible boy horribly blogged @ 00:24