Notes N Wheels

Monday, May 07, 2007

"i beg your pardon" & "i beg to differ"
was thinking about these two sentences while i was on my way to yishun central.
it just came to me haha, dunch ask me why cause i have no idea.
didn't feel like working today cause my throat felt really bad.
okie, thats just an excuse for something else actually ahhaha. really couldn't resist it.
hahah, yesh yesh, its playing music !! ahhaha.

packed all my stuff, music stuff haha, clarinet etc into my bag ahha. old bag.
headed to yishun central, was on the bus when those sentences came to me.
hmmm, was perspiring a little, hot day, long walk to the bus stop so yeah.
used the gents in northpoint, washed up. there was a "mad" man in the cubicle.
at least that was what came to my mind from all the noises haha.
no la, just alot of knocking. like someone kicking the door / partitions.
made my way to popular, took my time, strolled there. wanted to cool down.
bought the book, key rings and a ruler hahaha, to draw lines -_-
that is what rulers are for anyway, besides measuring lines.
ok, took my time, went over to the clinic. my gosh it was so warm there.
anyway i perspired a little there so was like, what the hell haha.
my turn, yeah, like i was the only one there cause the last left when i entered.
got my MC hahah. oh yeah, dad sponsored, i asked for sponsorship ahhah.

made my way to the CC after that. and wa la ahhah, opened the room.
did the book and keys, like finally hahaha. and practice !!
ok i think something has changed but i cant really explain it.
i mean with regards to my playing and applying the new stuff.
of cause something will change when you change the cause ahaha,
yeah someone told me that after i said something hahaha.
just dunno how to explain the change. it seems closer to that clarinet sound.
the one in the recording of Weber's concerto No.2 .
closer as compared to my old sound, or maybe heading in that direction?
i do not know how should i put it. anyway i am still quite unstable.
intend to have intensive self practice this few days. get it drilled into my head.
the sound concept, once its in, its hard to change.
if its not in though, it just slips away hahah, pretty easily, for me at least.
i kinda forgotten how i sound like in the past already ahah.
the past being during rehearsal on sunday haha.
unless i use my old method to produce that sound, i won't be able to recall.
of cause it would sound different even if i do that now haha.
okie, enough said, shall just push my limit. hope i can make it in time.
under 2 months against about 4 years. or rather under 2 months against 2 years plus.
if it goes on like this, i wont need sit ups for abs hahahah.

strange eh, what i previously rejected, i now feel the want for it, the desire to do it.
so weird hahaha. oh yeah, wanna follow dad to work one of these days.
see whether there are things to learn. gelare is getting boring, nothing much to learn.
a pretty straight forward job, dont have to deal much with people,
dont have to crack my brains or anything, its pretty slack.
ok, i learnt new stuff there, we are always learning anyway.
yeah, i wanna do something more challenging hahah, i dunno why.
its just that i get bored pretty easily.

ok, somehting came to my mind while in the shower. i am super materialistic.
i think thats what i am now. its not what i buy that made me say that.
rather, its the wants in my mind.
like, i want this i want that i want what my eyes desire. i want a porsche.
i want a 3 story corner terrace. i wanna have this and that.
its not wrong to have big dreams. its not unhealthy to aim high and have wants.
and all of us are, materialistic to a certain extend.
its just how materialistic are we though. right now i feel i am over board.
over board in quite a few other factors though. maybe the changes are too great
thats why i sometimes find myself questioning myself.
like i dont recognise myself or rather what i have become.
realised i have failed to keep my word to myself in quite some places.
its time to renew these commitments for my own sake.
i feel like i am time, there isn't an option which allows me to reverse.
no i shouldn't intend to reverse and return to what i was.
instead i should still move forward like time, yet, change for the better.
a friend told me some time ago that i should reflect. when friends start to say that.
friends who know us for quite some time,
it really means that there's work to be done.
i shall draft up something to help myself keep track and stay on track.
meanwhile, shall try my best to set things right, or rather back on the correct path.
lucky thing i am single, if not the girl would most likely be corrupted by me.
and if i change for the better along the way, there would most likely be a heart break.
all things happen for a reason, glad she was taken away from me.

i wonder how many enemies have i made due to direct contact
and not what others say about me to others that make others treat me as enemy.
anyway, i know i have one or two "enemies". i did that " thing cause
to regard someone as an enemy, its usually a very undesirable thing.
and right now i cant think of the proper word, no i dun treat anyone
as my enemy no matter how much i dislike or disagree with them.
i treat them as friends still. i cant change the way others view me though.
i mean change it just like that. so i am just wondering, at this point in time,
who regards me as their enemy or near there or something.
hmmm, have always been patient with these friend-enemies relationship
in the hope that things would take a turn for the better.
of cause sometimes i just lose it. yeah. anyway this is one of the things
i shall think about. hope things can be ironed out. gotta start with myself first.
come to think of it, there's only one, i cant think of any others
that have a problem with me or whom i have a problem with. major problems.
small problems occur here and there and everywhere, even with best friends.
but yeah, major problems. they need to be ironed out.
i made a wrong move last time, all i could think of was, whats the problem with her.
i never ever thought it as, is there a problem with me that causes her
to have a problem with me? if there is, what is it? an example.
yeah, i failed to place myself in the shoes of others, quite self-centered.
mmm, no one is perfect, but we can mould ourselves to have lesser flaws.

saw something on my way back which totally disgusted me.
was waiting at the bus stop. an SBS bus went by and in it,
was a half naked guy. yeah, he was seating like, at the4th last row?
using his grey shirt to wipe himself, yucks. he was the only passenger.

ok, let me describe what i saw when i alighted from the bus.
while i was walking home. i notice that it was a clear night, could see many stars.
like to look at the stars and the moon when i am walking home at night.
helps to distract me, make it seem like the walk home is much faster and shorter.
saw a fish tank in one of the houses, 2nd level, about 5 ft long i think.
an entire tank of carnivors, siamese tigers, an arowana. madness.
past another house, the guy was watching TV. was laughing away.
saw another guy, i think doing his work, in his room.
why would i say working? the chair he was on, and so many actions.
surely you dont move your arms about while reading. neither do you need to
move your head here and there, as in body haha.
looks like he was doing some kinda blue print or something.
or maybe charting out something? whatever it was, it was a big area he was working on. seemed like how an engineer works on his blue print.
the way he was moving about haha. just a guess.
he was on the second level in his room anyway hahah.
what else, a car drove pass me when i was 3 houses away from home.
so everything was pretty good, enter the house, pebbles came to me as usual.
quite great quite fine, gave dad the change and stuff.
so yeah, today was a pretty fine day, no girl / lady crying at the park
with tissue papers and a hp in her hand too. thats great haha. as in good.

tired tired, shall stop here.
its great to have friends to laugh with, friends to bicker with,
friends to tell me off, quarrel with me, help me, friends to teach me, guide me.
its great that i know those i know, thanks for everything friends :)
you guys paint my life.

her terrible boy horribly blogged @ 23:47

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