Monday, June 18, 2007
as i thought, dad found out about the tattoo.i think it was sat morning, than dad came in to wake martin up. i wasn't wearing my shirt and my blanket wasn't covering my top. just nice, my back was facing martin, so when i got up, is saw dad and i knew, just went back to sleep anyway.so yeah, he called me over to the dinning table and he just went on and on.asked me stuff and all but obviously i didn't reply.cause if i did, his reply would be, dont come and tell me......lol, so its pretty useless replying anyway. unless it those that just requires a yes or no.then the same topic came up again. driving driving driving.i hate studying, and i hate anything test.and the pace of the driving lessons is so slow. like so many god damn topics.and he wants me to enter army asap and to get my driving done asap.like how is that possible, if i enter army, driving would have to stop.and you want both to be done asap at the same time.then he asked, you wanted to follow the band to australia, did i stop?yes at one point he did, but i gave the politically correct answer, nope.then he continued, i asked marcus to send you there, and you never even tell us what flight and everything. my reply, i told mummy already.his reply, ya verbally right, we are getting old already, write it down somewhere,you tell us things today, by tomorrow we would forget. i was like, old god, please dont do this to me. ok i'll give you the itinerary.so just listened and listened and listened. kinda reminds me of when i was made to attend church classes from sec 1 to 4.we had to attend mass as it was before lessons, on sundays.so we would all be like, what the fuck, is that old man, in white robes, fucking talking about? okie, sometiems he wore purple.depends on his mood i guess hahaha, no la, its for the different occasions.anyway, he has been saying many times that he is getting impatient,i have been listening to that many times.you know, this trouble was created by your own hands.i didn't ask to be born, neither did i ask you to take me home, neither did i ask for the driving and everything. in fact said i didn't wanna learn.so yeah, you come blame me for your self created problems.and i am getting quite pissed listening to this crap.think i shall get the driving done, enter the army, and try to stay in camp as many days as possible.ok, maybe not a good idea. book out and stay else where.irritating to stay in this house. really feel like running back to aunt's place.at least i get the basic edible home cook food by a mother. two mothers in fact.aunty and her mother hahah, my grandma that is hahaha.hmmm, i realise something very very bad.i have been viewing some of heir kind with this negative feeling.i dunch know what exactly is the word to use for it. the feeling sort of contains a few things, no respect for their kind,tend to view them as inferior in some ways. cant point out the others.cause i have yet to identify exactly. maybe its what we expect of their kind.the supposedly intellectually superior does have its flaws in other factors.the thing is, we in general do not acknowledge them to have this flaws.if you are up there, then you should be this good.you have no room for flaws in any aspect. that kinda thinking.not to mention the black sheeps of the flock does spoil the image too.at least black sheep to me. to each his own.shall deal with it when i feel like it. how bias but i wouldn't give more care to it.hmmm, wonder if its possible to manupilate. i think its highly possible actually. around those you feel comfortable with,one lets down their guard. this few are quite innocent. age is no obstacle.then again, it serves no purpose. for a greater cause or a personal cause. to make use of others for one's own benefits is utterly despicable.i wonder how does one learn to be more, cautious, like to be able to detect that they are being manupilated.and if a person can learn how to prevent themself from being manupilated,then it would be easier for them to manupilate others right? like its easier to prevent your com from being hack if you learn how to hack.a naive, innocent and emotional one is usually pretty easy to take control of i feel. because they are naive and innocent, its easy to get into their thoughts, influence them and stuff.because they are emotional, its easy to stir their feelings.unsettle them then help them settle themselves. let them feel comfortable with you.of cause not without thought, choice of words are important.i think if one feels comfortable with another, its easier to get that person to help you do stuffs. and i feel, that usually not much thought of caution would be given to it, since they feel comfortable around that person.oh, its just playing with a person like a cat with a ball.mice is too bloody.
her terrible boy horribly blogged @ 01:09
