Sunday, May 20, 2007
hahaha just came home, there's this horse thing on TV.so they are like giving out the trophies and the president is there and something.and there is band playing in the back ground, sounds CMI.i guess its one of the few professional bands in this country that is playing heehee.i know you know la hor hahaha. i just did something very interesting, not very me thing.came home, went up, changed into my home shorts, came down for dinner.usually i would place my bag near the dining table, heat up the food, have it, then head to my room and that's in.made the extra run today, pretty waste of time and strength, dunch ask me why i took the longer route cause i dunno why hahah.hmmm, my back is giving me problems, strange problems which i never had before.so the neck pain is still there, like 3 weeks old already.everytime i turn my head to face left, the pain comes.just today, while playing. i couldn't tilt my head forward to face down.a " line of pain " would just " appear " just left off the center line of my back.was like ok, think i needa see the doc soon. shall do so when i get my pay.get rid of the neck problem as well. its irritating. feels like my freedom has been partially restricted. cant stand restrictions, especially physically felt ones.like in a small room, or when i am in the car or something, wearing the seat belt.ok, enough said.hmmm, realised something today. linked to what i read in a book as well.that was when it came to my mind that made me realise it.i usually am quite aware of my feelings. like when i become angry or am becoming angry at someone, i know it.yet, YET, i'll just let it happen. or rather, it just pops up in my head like,for example today. it was like," watch it watch it, you are losing it, watch it. "i am aware of it, yet i don't control it. not all the time i am aware of it.and not all the time, when i am aware of it, am i able to control it. another interesting thing that i thought of today.i more or less figure more about someone already. of cause not just like that, but with help from something.something that explains of cause. there are a few thoughts that came to mindwhen i realised what i have realised. discarded some of them because that's not what knowledge is supposed to be for.like, because you know more about a person, you have more knowledge of how to manupilate the person or get the person into trouble. you know that person types weak points.to me that's abusing knowledge. knowledge by itself doesn't corrupt.knowledge is nothing if its just like that.the thing that would make a difference, is how that knowledge is used.for what reasons and stuff like that. so yeah, decided to ponder about the other thoughts. would be good for me and the subject.for me, i unknowingly created a way for myself, of knowing some one better.just one way. provoke the person, see how they react, see the aftermath.if its all calm and peaceful, you cant really tell much of a person.adversities unveil the true colors of men. just provoke the person and you can tell alot. patience, tolerance, ability to handle the situation. basically, the person's reaction during the situation, and even after the situation.by the person's interaction with those around the person with regards to the provocation of that person. of cause dun do it all the time and for the fun of it hahah.there are many other ways to find out more about a person, better ways.this is just one of mine. was thinking about quite alot of thinks today, when i wasn't doing anything.about what i read, about what happened during the day,about what i learned during and from those events of the day. evaluating the day's events in short. its pretty interesting to look back and think.some times you might find something that at that point in time when it happened,you were unable to pay enough attention to realise it. so sometimes it just passes by you like a passer by in your everyday life. la fonction du reel. hahahah. great, shall continue later. a warrior wants to game hahahah. cheater buds at work ahahahha.
her terrible boy horribly blogged @ 20:53
